SKIPPER’S BLOG: Skipper’s Christmas

It’s that time of year again for the ol' Skipper to toddle off into the wilds of another holiday season, find a dark bottle of good rum and a few able-bodied seaman and ladies to help imbibe the cup of cheer and to celebrate another year on this side of the sod.

In other words, I’m shagging off for a well-earned break.

But before I grab my bottle and go, I thought it might be fun to check off my Christmas wish list for this year — since I’ve been SUCH a good boy.

So without further ado, here’s what I’ve asked Santa to toss in his big red sack, heave onto the sleigh and deliver to the naughty and the nice on Dec. 25.

• A nice shiny lump of coal — no, actually, how about a solidly frozen reindeer turd instead — for the people in the bureaucratic hierarchy of the federal government that have started assaulting everything in the Atlantic Region from cutting back on fish science to changing search and rescue to bringing in more onerous and expensive vessel inspections to making harvesters pay for logbooks and gear tags to help manage a resource the federal government is supposed to be the steward for. Even the Grinch would have to puzzle and puzzle until his puzzler was sore (and then after that. He’s puzzle some more) at such obvious slash and burn tactics.
• In fairness, maybe we can find a nice gift for all the on-the-ground frontline federal government staff we deal with regularly here because they are exceptional people. I once worked with a rather loquacious fellow who referred to the NL communications people at DFO, for example, as being part of the evil empire. Based on my own experiences I can tell you he was quite wrong. People like them — and they know who they are — are the only ones that maintain my faith in the system actually. As for the loquacious fellow, well, he couldn’t beat the feds. So he joined them. Now he’s looking for Mount Pearl, NL votes in Fort McMurray, AB. Apparently being loquacious doesn’t mean you’re great at geography.
• Speaking of the Grinch, how about some charm school coupons for saucy-lawyer-politician-stuff-this-Muskrat-Falls-in-your-pipe-and-smoke-it-advocate Jerome Kennedy? To borrow from the Grinch’s theme, Jerome is just as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel these days... We’re starting to think the seasick crocodile might make a good NL Natural Resources minister so at least people could stop reacting to the words “Muskrat Falls” without looking like they’re hearing nails on a chalkboard (Boy, do we owe Dr. Seuss an apology).
• A new laptop computer for every single fisherman in Canada (the ones that have high speed internet access anyway) — because they’re going to need it this spring when Fisheries and Oceans moves all their licensing services to an online format in an effort to cut personnel costs, er, we mean, improve and update the system. Yeah. That’s it.
• How about some job security – i.e. a fisheries minister for Newfoundland and Labrador that lasts a bit longer in the position than it takes to change your undergarments? Right now the norm is one (year) and done.
• A little dose of common sense for the maritime lobster fishery. When prices for lobster decline because of economic depression and market gluts, throwing MORE lobster at the problem doesn’t solve it, it only makes it worse. Ask fisherman in Newfoundland how the whole fishing for fish instead of fishing for money/market thing worked out with cod about 20 or so years ago. Yeahhhhhhh….. not so good.
• A stiff upper lip and a strong back for people involved with groups like the Maritime Fishermen’s Union (MFU), The Prince Edward Island Fishermen’s Association (PEIFA), the Lobster Council of Canada and others who are facing some tough challenges in the lobster fishery in the months and years directly ahead with those tough markets, record catches and resulting $3 lobsters.
• A swift kick in the hind quarters for anyone and everyone in Newfoundland and Labrador that turned up their nose at taking over the FPI marketing arm back in 2007 when the company was broken up. We lost a fabulous opportunity with the marketing operation (which High Liner has capitalized on, to their credit), and we just watched more than 100 people in Burin lose their job at one of the most unique and modern processing plants on Canada. The big picture view in this province on processing sometimes feels like it might be the size of a postage stamp.
• That said, maybe we should ask for a big bottle of strong booze for anyone working in the fish processing business. It’s been a tough time in that industry. There have been upwards of seven or eight processing plants that have closed down in NL this calendar year and things are not looking up for a few more. Maybe that’s the Armageddon the Mayan’s were ACTUALLY predicting. If so, spot on.
• A prayer for the FFAW, a union that will face some major challenges in the near future. They are losing members left and right as plants shut down and fishermen retire and/or sell out their enterprises. Also if Earle McCurdy decides to retire anytime soon, the organization is going to be faced with a serious leadership hole that it isn’t ready to fill. Even Santa would have trouble carrying that load.
• A medal for the fishing industry as a whole in Atlantic Canada. Despite getting nowhere near the respect it deserves, the industry pumps about $3 billion annually into the Atlantic Canadian economy in mostly rural areas. There are other industries more lucrative, but few — if any — are as valuable in real dollars to real people.
  
• And finally, in all seriousness, we ask that the jolly old fellow bring a very Merry Christmas to all, and to all a happy and healthy 2013 on land and at sea. Be safe, and be merry.